Stuart Gitlow, past president of the American Society of Addiction Medicine. He, like 10% or 15% of people, has the disease of addiction, explains Dr. The sensation Todd had the first time he popped a Percocet, that feeling he wanted to hold onto for the rest of his life, was the giveaway. “I’ve never been outside the country because I can’t leave. “I’ve always wanted to see the world,” he says. And because he can’t stray far from his dealer, a dream he does have remains on hold indefinitely. He knows that he has a lot to live for, but he often forgets that and struggles to imagine a future. He’d like to find love, build a relationship and have a family but says, “It would be dishonest, and I never want to hurt anybody. Over the past six years, he’s lost seven people he cares about to addiction. His last serious girlfriend also used drugs and died from an overdose. He’s invented the deaths of family members to get days off.īut death is very much a reality in his life.
He once told a pharmacist he was a science teacher in need of syringes for experiments. When he’s used heroin, he’s explained the bruises on his arm by telling people he has diabetes or an infectious disease. That quick trip he says he’s taking to McDonald’s could be to meet his dealer at Burger King. He might say he’s in one city when he’s really in another. He’s “all smiles and happiness at work,” he says, and he spins tales to guard his secret. To avoid that hell, Todd often lives a lie. You’re willing to do anything to feel better.” It’s like the worst flu you’ve ever had in your life – and then multiply that by 1,000,” he says.
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“I don’t know how to describe withdrawal. He’s figured out how much to take so he doesn’t feel the pains of withdrawal, which is now his goal – rather than getting a full-on high. 'This is skid row': What two current heroin addicts want you to know He makes good money, which means he can afford his $350- to $600-a-week habit. For a long time, Ox圜ontin was his drug of choice now he prefers Opana and, if he can’t get that, Subutex. His preference, assuming he can find them, is to buy more expensive opioids. He’s done heroin for periods of time and says it’s “fantastic,” but shooting up isn’t his style. Now 26, he has gone stretches where he’s been sober, but the pull is strong and keeps yanking him back. The 11 years since have been a dance with opioid addiction, even as he graduated from college and embarked on a successful career in corporate management.
“The feeling in my head was, ‘I want to feel like this for the rest of my life,’ ” Todd says. Then, at 15, he popped a Percocet his mother left lying around while she was recovering from surgery. He was a typical suburban high school student who dabbled in weed.
Loving and successful parents, good schools, a great upbringing in the Midwest: Todd can’t point to anything that drove him to drugs. Respected members of your community who, for the benefit of everyone’s understanding, want to be heard.Īfter CNN gave voice last fall to addicts on skid row, the sorts we think of when we picture “heroin addict,” I set out to tell this overlooked part of the heroin story.īeing a functioning addict hinges on heroin use staying hush-hush, so we agreed to change the names of those willing to open up. Hanging in the balance are people you may never imagine: peers, co-workers and neighbors. What works for them now, experts explain, can easily and lethally be derailed. This is a story about the others, those traveling the dangerous road of functional addiction. About 85% of people can take a pain pill, for example, and never crave it again. What addicts have in common, according to experts, is a disease that has more to do with their brains than the substances they use. Or experimentation got them hooked and changed everything. For others, chronic pain and lack of legal opioids landed them here.
They are functioning heroin addicts – people who hold down jobs, pay the bills and fool their families.įor some, addiction is genetic they’re wired this way. They haven’t lost everything while chasing an insatiable high. Their dignity, at least from outside appearances, remains intact. They’re not slumped over in alleyways with used needles by their sides.
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